(Source: okdubu, via emilyinspace)

I feel like my whole damn world is falling apart. Well the only parts that matter are anyways. My home and school life are terrible. And by home I mean like the rest of my family too.
This year is the most important year of high school and it’s the year I’m slacking with my grades the most. It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic. I’ve basically got no responsibilities whatsoever except for keeping my grades up and I can’t even do that. I feel like a god damn failure.
My home life is whatever, I guess. Like I get along with my mother and stuff it’s just we’re becoming more distant and I find myself never wanting to spend time with her even though she’s done so much for me and I love her more than anything. I’ve also become distant with the rest of my family. There’s so much drama going on with my moms side of
the family because it’s slowly falling apart and with my fathers side I can’t even begin to explain how I feel about that. My grandfather is trying to get me to talk to him again and j just can’t fucking do it. Not now anyways. I used to be so close to my cousin. We were best friends and we told each other everything but ever since she got her boyfriend she’s changed for the worse and even now that they broke up, she’s not the great person that she used to be. It sucks.
Stuff with my friends are going well. I mean I’ve lost and gained so many over the years but I’m satisfied with who I ended up with now. I know that I can trust them and that they’ll support me no matter what. And I’d obviously do the same for them. It just sucks that I feel like I can’t talk to them about everything because I know they’d never understand how I feel. Even if they’ve gone through the same thing… I guess my mind is just fucked up beyond belief. There is not one person I could completely and honestly connect to 100%. But is that even possible anyways?
My “love” life is basically non existent but I think i’m okay with that. I mean it would be nice to know that somebody cared and nice to hear the cute things that they have to say and what not but I don’t need it. I know I’m a very independent person and I can very much live without that… for the moment anyways. And I guess it’s good that I have nobody right now because my emotions are all over the place and I need to get myself together before I can be with somebody else. I’m such an emotional wreck it’s insane. I’m insane, actually. Oh and my “love” life has absolutely nothing to do with my sex life. I hate when people automatically connect the two because you can definitely have one without the other. But I’m not getting into that considering i have some followers that know me personally.
This is basically just an annoying rant about my life and I’m not expecting anything out of it or whatever I guess I just needed to get this off my chest considering I deactivated my twitter and have nothing to rant to for the time being. So perhaps you’ll be hearing more from me, I don’t know.
If you’re even still reading, which I’m sure you’re not. Congratulations for wasting a few minutes of your life reading my “problems” and sorry for the typos which I’m sure there are plenty of… I did’t feel like going over it and editing it. I don’t know how to end this because I’m almost 100% certain I’m talking to myself so uhm idk just thanks for making it this far